Nobodies Perfect Right? And That's When The Fight Started...

The imperfect Christian had decided it was warm enough for a haircut. Therefore, with the sun filling the sky, and the feeling of Spring in the air, he made way to the barbershop. You can meet some very interesting people at the barber, and hear some very interesting things. Well the imperfect Christian has one for the record books. Forgot about "Dueling Banjo's!" How bout "Dueling Afro's?!" Two new preachers from local churches in the same district, meet for the same time at the barbershop. They begin talking about their churches, and their call, and for the moment all is well. Then they merge into conversation about family. Well the imperfect Christian being a family man, and at one time a not so shabby preacher in his own right sat back, smiled, and enjoyed the stories they shared with the shop, until the conversations transitioned to marriage. Preacher X said to Preacher Z, "You know it's hard to find a man or woman with good morals anymore. I never slept with my wife before I got married, did you?"
Preacher Z replied, "I don't know, what's her maiden name?"
And that's when the fight started...

OK forgive me on that one! I just needed a moment, and there it was...
Peace, Blessings, and Joy... that real PB&J ;)

Facebook Etiquette (Top 5)

The imperfect Christians Facebook Etiquette:

1. Fellas a tie is not a have too, but it could sharpen your image. (Please see picture above) Joking of course, some of us gentlemen not even a tie can help.
2. Ladies, if the barn needs paint, paint it! Just know that body paint is a touch too much when that's all you're wearing. ;) Especially those of you that need extra clothes on. Again I am teasing, don't go postal on me!
3. As for communications... please do not argue on Facebook. I have a friend that works for a soap opera company that says, and I quote: "We get great ideas from right here on Facebook, and don't even have to pay these people! LOL!"
3.5 Don't assume either! That is a make shift toboggan not a turban, and if it were a turban the imperfect Christian is still just that... an imperfect Christian (that loves er'body, and agrees to disagree), and nothing else! Thank ye!
4. Also, if you just filed for a divorce, or are going through a separation/divorce, and you have some mutual friends with your spouse; then in "some cases" I can't blame you for axing a few of "their" friends. However, if you have friends that were friends before the spouse came along, and/or before the divorce took place, then in most cases it could be OK to keep the mutual friend. Again the imperfect Christian emphasizes on the "in most cases." The imperfect Christian ain't mad atcha either way, just sayin.'
5. To conclude: Spammin' and unwanted ads, or hacking could see you served up a dotted eye. Don't send junk to every friend on your friend list! Put it on your wall, and it will show up on your wall, plus the "News Feed." Don't have 500 Facebook friends waiting at your door step preparing to sabotage your computer, or worse!

OK that is a wrap on my 5 hmmmm mmmmm and a half Facebook do's, and don'ts, so now which one of y'all have a clever "BIBLICAL" scripture to close with?

Peace, Blessings, and Joy... that real PB&J

Punking the Punkin' - Wife Punking 101

Well the imperfect Christian is a child of God no matter of his short comings. However, he is also the same child of God, that same imperfect Christian, that likes to play jokes on people too. The imperfect Christian has his own email, both personal and work to attend to, but now he also has the email, and social pages of a very talented group called, "Voices Of Inspiration" to manage as well. With that said let's go to Sunday evening approximately 7:30PM.

The imperfect one went to the Voices Of Inspirations Faithbook, I mean Facebook page. While he was there he saw that his best friend and lovely bride was online. The imperfect one does not chat much on Facebook so he never has his IM open. However, on the VOI page it was. He wrote an IM (Instant Message for the non-Im'ers) to his bride as if he was the Pastor, and group director. The imperfect one chose his wording carefully, and deliberately so he could emulate the pastor. He told her how blessed she was to have the imperfect Christian for a husband, and how much the group wished he'd sing with them. He told her how much the group loved the imperfect Christian, and needed her too. She replied with how wonderful her husband was, and how she thought he had a wonderful voice, and to pray for them. The imperfect one replied in perfect imperfection! He said that as the pastor he always thought of them, and lifted them before the Lord daily. He also said that imperfect Christian spoke of how much he loved his bride, and that the imperfect Christian said that she had a lovely voice too, but would not use it. That the imperfect one would like for her to be with him always, and at every rehearsal, and wanted her to take on a bigger roll in their ministry. Then continuing on as the pastor, the imperfect one said, you should come to every rehearsal, we miss you when you're not here. She thanked the pastor, or so she thought, and then said "Yeah right, he lied to you about my being able to sing, though." Then she said that she looked forward to the next rehearsal, and thanked him again. Polite little booger isn't she. The imperfect one then said, well Mrs. Pastor will be looking for me so I had better go, church is out now, and I need to get home to my queen. Take care and tell the imperfect one that we love him, and know that we love you too! The imperfect Christian's bride then said, thank you take care, and I will tell him that you send your love.

The tired eyed, beauty of a woman walks into the bedroom that she shares with the imperfect Christian, and begins to tell him about what the pastor had said. The imperfect Christian then quoted a line or two, and she looked at him like no, he said... then she thought about it, and the imperfect one smiled, and she turned to walk from the room and the imperfect one grabbed her and hugged her, and said, "I love you, and should have played that one out a little more, and said something either really bad about the imperfect one, or played a favor for him!" Here are some classic play your pastor prank lines... "Has he mentioned a haircut, cause a Brown man loses his mind when he loses his hair. Samsung in the Bible, oh yeah, he was a brotha, and look at how many people he took out when he tore that shopping mall down!" Here's another one: "Pray for him Mrs. Imperfect-Christian cause he said that the Portuguese have to shave their toenails after a certain time frame... I'm telling you, you need to watch that brotha!"

Yeah I think it could've gotten even more interesting if I had played my cards right. Am I getting too soft... am I slipping!? Nah, she just does me like that! Welcome to Christian Wife Punking 101!

Until the next Punking of the Punkin's... Peace, Blessings, and Joy... that real PB&J

We Are The World...

OK people have spotted Elvis in ham slices, and Jesus in pancakes, so why not Michael Jackson on a flyer from a hotel? He had the Moonwalk, Moonraker vids, talked about the Man on the Moon, and the Man In The Mirror, well now I give you the Guy on the Globe!

The Arctic Ocean, spilling into the Atlantic Ocean is his hair. Just below Greenland (which isn't very green at all) and its Southern Island friend is his brow, and the inlet is his eye closed. The large bay just north of Quebec, and Ontario would be his nose (pre last nose job), and the Great Lakes his withering wrinkled lips.

So there you have it, my MJ sighting. I wonder if the hotel is privy to this?

Does This Ever Happen To You?

Imagine a bright sunny day, on a small town street. You're sitting in front of the bank with your windows down, a slight summer breeze eases through, and gently caresses your face. You can hear the river flowing just above a whisper off of the bank below, but you can hear the playing children clear as a bell. You can hear their enthusiasm as they are running about, laughing, and playing at the park on the other side of the river. Ahhh... the sound of small town laughter to remind you of your own youth. It's invigorating isn't it?! That's good medicine no matter who you are, however, abruptly out of the Carolina Blue, that joyful memory stroll is interrupted by a horn toot and flashing lights just down the street. Your perfect get-away sabotaged by noise pollution! In the country you can't say a block down, because this small town street is more like the one traffic light town. This town in particular has only a few shops left on it's main strip. It's a small town where pretty much everyone knows each other.

In this one particular case, however, it was the first time that the imperfect Christian had ever witnessed this person. She was petite, but looked a tad bit feisty! She appeared to be rushed on this beautiful sun filled day, and somewhat aggravated about it. She stormed out of her building, hands full, arms loaded, and now trying to get into a station wagon parked directly in front of her buildings doorway. She tugged at the handle, and for the life of herself, could not get the door to budge. She sat her coffee mug on top of the car, and now tugs even harder, and still no go. She tries the key fob again, and again a toot, and more flashing lights as she stands next to the drivers door.

At this time the imperfect Christian is almost in tears and trying to stay out of sight until he can regain his composure. He notices her reaching for the lock on the door with the key. At this point the imperfect Christian thinks about how bad he would feel if someone would have to have a lock replaced, or if they would have to have repairs made to their vehicle because he sat back and did nothing. Sure it made for a good laugh, but now the laugh was done, and it was time to assist and do the right thing. So the imperfect Christian opens the door of his church van, that is now a makeshift delivery van, and yells down the street to her, "Ma'am, their is a car just like the one you're attempting to get into, with the lights flashing right behind you." She throws her hands up, and says, "How dumb was that!?" She waves to thank me, walks back to the other car (hers) embarrassed, and still talking to herself while opening car door. It was too funny!

Then there was a time when the imperfect Christian was standing with a friend in the bank parking lot talking. We had just left the building, and were reminiscing over the past, when a man walked out of the bank, rudely said, "Excuse me," split between my friend and I, and got into the car we were standing next to. He fumbled around in his pocket, took one more hateful look at us, and then grabbed his keys, paused and looked around the car, and then slipped out a wirty dord...

My friend amazed said, "He just got into my car!" I asked if she knew the man, and she replied, "NO!" I turned back to look at him, and he got out of the car, and said, "I can't believe I got in the wrong .... car!" My friend said, "It's OK." I laughed and thought yeah we couldn't believe that either, I won't ask how you feel right about now, cause it shows all over your face! Classic small town duh... I left my brain inside moments.

Last but not least, on my way back home, I witness another station wagon funny. A man walks out of the gas station and tries to open the back gate on a Post Mortem Transport'em. It's locked, and the man shows his disgust. So he walks to the back passenger door, and gives the handle a tug, which results in an even more frustrated look. With one last attempt, he goes to the front passenger door, and is hot enougn to spit fire at this point. He goes back to the rear of the little station wagon, and take a glimpse to his left. What does he see? A car that is exactly like the one he's trying to break into! Again hilarious! The owner walks out with the lady that is accompanying the man, and imperfect Christian number two in the back seat rolls his window down to hear the man get cursed out. Instead the woman (owner of the car) starts laughing about it, puts her beer in the front seat, and the man and his family laugh back to their car, and he comes back, they talk more, and laugh a little more, and he says, "Well at least no one else saw, me and you didn't come out here mad and all." Then he looked to his right, and there we are the two imperfect Christians with grins from ear to ear! This happens way to often when I am around, but by the grace of GOD has yet to happen to me. Thank You GOD! (Smile)

Yeah the devil unloads some crazy things on us. We lose our focus, we believe the lies, and we have to snap out of it, and get on back on board. It's a lot easier, however, if we allow Jesus to see us back on board, and into the peaceful shore. Peter could have attempted to swim back to the boat, and climb aboard, but instead, Peter had to snap out of it, regain focus, and call on the Lord. Jesus not only took Peter to shore safely, but got all of the disciples back to shore safely. If you've lost focus today, I would like to pray for you. As a born again Christian, I will ask those born again to pray for me as well. Please leave your request at the site: http://sites.google.com/site/gotravvy

If you wish you may leave your name, or an alias, and please know that all requests are confidential. So please leave us your email information, and requests and if you desire we will get in touch with you as soon as we possibly can. Thank you and God bless.

Peace, Blessings, and Joy... (That real PB&J)

The Hunt Continues in 2010!

The Hunt continues...

We interview Tigers friend again in search for his return to the PGA!

You look at the pretty woman being interviewed and notice her shew away someone in the distance...

I am learning that we do that to too many people we love! We shew away our loved ones everyday! Mama can I call you back = shew! After I do this sweetheart (to our kids) = shew! I don't want to do that (to our spouse) = shew!

The imperfect Christian does it to his kids, and to his parents! The imperfect Christian realized just the other day that his little girl is in school now, when it seems as though she was just born yesterday! The imperfect Christian is watching his little girl grow up through the rear view mirror! That has to stop today! The imperfect Christian is not all bad, he reads to her at night, or plays her to sleep with his guitar and sometimes a song, but what about the inbetween times. The imperfect Christians tombstone will have two dates on either side of that dash. The imperfect Christian wants his dash to be very long, and very meaningful!

Peace, Blessings, and Joy... that real PB&J

The Hunt For Red OcTiger II

This is a one take interview with Lightnin'. He is a man of few words...

We travel to the frozen Alps to find Tiger Woods. Lightning used to take Tiger to the Alps to do strenght, and conditioning. That's the true story behind how he met his wife... How does Tiger get around on the ball in the tee box as fast as he does? Watch this video and see how Lenny enters the scene and you will know!

The Hunt For Red OcTiger!

OK forget the tabloids, if you want the scoop on the latest celebrity news, look no further, you've found your source! Tiger took his wife to the Alps until he is inspired to return to the US. Trenny and Lightnin' (The Strength Trainer) are on the quest to find... Tiger!

No, it really did happen that way!

Had a good day at work, and was on my way home, when I noticed traffic backed up. The south bound lane had a man with a cigar the size of a tee ball bat walking his grocery cart like his dog in the middle of the slow lane! Dude had on an Elmer Fudd hat, and a ganja man smoke, and just strutin' down the busiest road in the city at rush hour! Couldn't get my Storm out quick enough to take the pick, but today I am ready for whatever!

OK later that Monday evening I am on my way to my son's soccer game, my little girl is quoting Chappelle that she heard from her imperfect daddy! "Look no further fella, you found him!" she said proudly as I said hey where is so in so? Well upon safe arrival and not crashing the car from laughing at baby girl I three other groups of parents. One set left with a few of the JV players after the JV game was over. The Varsity game kicked in, and the opposing coach got too fired up! They introduced our squad, and the opposing coach came over and gave each of our guys a fist bump! He is the same coach that had his players stay in the rain and help our kids repair a sloppy field by filling in the divots last year, at our stadium. This coach is a class act! Well they kicked in some AC/DC Thunder Struck on the PA! The kids started bouncing and got pumped up, and the announcer belted out the players names! They all ran out with enthusiam toward their coach and gave him solid high fives, or a mean chest bump, or they gave him a fist bump or something. Then they shook hands with the ref. The Keeper rose from one knee, did a quick Hail Mary, made his Cross against his chest, pounded it like he was going into an MMA fight, and then raced out to his coach being the last player, and a gave him a thunderous up top ten!

It was a late night and a cold one. The game saw us get thumped pretty soundly, but the effort was a solid one. It almost hurts to write about how good the other guys are, so I will skip that part... : )

I got home, and saw that at least my Dodgers had faired well. Sweep the Cards, and on to the winner of the Phils and Rockies!

Well there you have it sports fans, the lightest sports blog I could muster!

Pour Some Sugar On Me

I had awakened and early on Saturday morning, and the days of my being able to crawl into bed with my mom, and pull her eyelids were gone. My attempting such a feat as a teen would land me, as Fred G. Sanford used to say, “Five across the lips,” while shaking his fist at Lamont. Well my mom began dating a fellow that was sort of a bully, and not very kind to put it lightly. And he had been at our house a lot, and the more time you get to spend with people the more you learn about them. He had recently lost his job, started drinking, and was sponging off of my mother. Mom finally saw that he was not the same fellow that she had first met, and asked him to leave. It was not a pleasant ordeal needless to say. But there was one bright spot in his being there. It was another life lesson for me, and has made me a better father, and helped me in the prank business as well!

Our bully had decided to go out for a run bright and early on the Saturday morning that set me off. What set me off was the fact that when he returned he ate the last of my Rice Chex cereal! He just snarled at me, like what will you do about it! Did I mention that he had lost his job? Yeah I thought so. Well I am a man that believes restitution should be paid in full. I am also a very patient soul when it comes to payment, receiving and giving if need be. Well it is better to give than to receive, and it was my turn to give. You can’t eat a brotha’s Chex and then punk him out like that! Most of all you don’t treat a Mama’s boy’s mama with such disrespect! He never gave her money, and he never cooked one meal for her!

Well our friend the bully again was there every day that following week, including the weekend. He went to the cupboard to find the cereal that was purchased without any contributions from his hand, and poured a Jethro Bodine sized bowl of Chex. Used my imperfect Christian Jethro Bowl in the deal again, and my favorite spoon! Did I tell you that he didn’t have a job, and that he hadn’t paid for any of the food that he was consuming!? I did, my bad, OK on with the facts.

He got the milk out of the fridge, again the milk that he had spent nary a dime on, and filled the bowl. Then he grabbed the sugar bowl, and put about five table spoons full on his larger than life bowl of cereal. He sat down and took a bite. Of course I had to stick around because I had grown to be a rather testy teenager. My Granddaddy told me that it took a man to dish out a beat down, and more of a man to stay in the fight and take one. Well I wasn’t going to miss this one, and was willing to take the beat down! He yelled through the house like the house was on fire and told my mom that the cereal was bad. A grown man whining to the woman of the house, the one that he was sponging off of, and had the nerve to wake her and tell her his cereal was bad. I would like to punch him in his grill to this day, for the way he treated my mama! Lord forgive me for imperfect, and unrighteous thoughts.

My mother came out to check on him. He was worse than a two year old, and said, “This cereal is no good.” My mother coming to his rescue began to investigate the crime scene. She checked the milk first. “It’s not out of date, it smells ok,” she took a sip, “it tastes ok.” So then she took some cereal out of the box, “The cereal doesn’t taste bad,” she remarked. So on to the sugar. “It tastes like salt,” she exclaimed.” Wow, probably because it is…” she said holding back tears from laughing hysterically inside! He got up and was ready to kill me, and I smiled as I walked by him with my baseball bat in hand. I praise God for allowing me to be surrounded by friends that prevented me from using another smaller Angels bat on the bully while he was talking trash to my mother. I walked past him straight to my room, and my friend had told his dad that he thought I was going to do something bad. He went into our house, and passed out drunk on my mother’s sofa. I didn’t go to a juvenile detention center, and our bully tried to come back drunk, and promptly got served a butt whoopin’ by the same man that kept me from hitting Juvy. God is too good. All stories should end well, and have a hero. Live the righteous life imperfect Christian, and God will be your hero, and the final chapter will be a victorious one!

Well brothers and sisters, be blessed with a sunny and peaceful Saturday, and give love, as you are loved, and even when you don’t feel loved. For what greater love do we know than the love that was given to us when He laid His life down for us, now that is a man who knows about the beat down!

Peace Blessings and Joy… That real PB&J

Angel In My Morning

I was awakened again this morning by a feisty little girl that loves to crawl into a warm bed. The set back is that she likes to snuggle as close as she can get, and then she draws out every bit of body heat that you once had, and kicks the blankets off of you. So, you have a tremendous drop in body temp, and she is closer to you than your drawers, so you can’t move for fear of crushing her. Oh did I mention the fact that if you move to the edge of the bed she follows you? That’s right good dads you know what I’m talking about. If you roll to the right you face plant in the floor, and if you roll to the left you hear, “Daddy you’re squeeching me!” You put her back in her bed about twenty times per night, and tell her, “no,” but she comes back anyway. She is the only one that I have a hard time pulling pranks on. Girls are so emotional sometimes! Well good people, a good Saturday morning breakfast blog to ya! The life of an imperfect Christian with the cutest little girl in his life at 7am on Saturday morning, and she like he, is looking for cartoons. Yeah I still dig the toons just not as early! Well she is a joy, a jewel in the crown, and nowhere near the nuisance that her old man was when he was little. In fact here’s the perfect time for my childhood prank story:

How Does That Look?

What does a 320 pound woman look like? Now, before you scroll down to look at her pictures, get a mental image of what you think a woman who weighs 320 looks like...GOT IT?

Not exactly what you were expecting is it?? The tallest and one of the best proportioned women for her height in the world lives in Holland. She is 7'4" and weighs 320lbs. OK Mr. Verkade is this what all the women in Holland look like!?

Well here's a tale that's not quite as tall as our friend here, but a good one nonetheless!

A man had just had one of the worst days of his life, and was determined to immediately turn it around. He was willing to do whatever it took to make things work! He had lost his job, his wife was threatening to take the kids and leave, and they were behind on every bill! He had been all over town looking for work, and couldn't afford to move, besides that no other auto companies were hiring assembly personnel. He was without a degree but had technical skills, and learned quickly. He was a big man, around 6'9" and 370 lbs and he was as strong as a bear, but as gentle as a lamb. So, he went to the zoo for one last chance, praying to find some work. He asked the Lead Keeper if they could use anyone. He offered to clean the lobby, feed the animals, and clean the habitations, he was willing to do whatever it took. The Lead Keeper said we have student volunteers from the college that are filling in right now, sorry. Then the Assistant Keeper excited and out of breath came in wild eyed and shouting, "Willie is gone!"

The Lead Keeper said, "What do you mean, has he escaped!?"

The assistant specified with tears in his eyes that Willie their main attraction, the big gorilla had died! The Lead Keeper paused for a moment stricken with grief, then with one thought allowed anxiety to overtake him cried out, "We have a school group coming to see him this afternoon, what will we do!"

The assistant quick witted on always on his toes told the Lead Keeper in private that they still had the Willie suit in the back. With that said the Lead Keeper offered the big man a job! He asked the big man if he would put on a show for the kids. The big man was ecstatic! He agreed immediately to take the job, then ran to the back and began to garb up in the Willie suit! It was a much better suit than the one in the movie "Trading Places," also. LOL

They placed him in the gorilla exhibit, and he began to swing and practice, acting like Willie. Just at that point he noticed that the children had arrived early! He didn't want to disappoint them so he really began to put on a show! He would swing back and forth on a vine that was high in the exhibit. He swung over the edge of his habitation, and looked down and saw the lion watching. He swung back to his tree and thumped his chest at the lion, and snorted. The Lion roared and just looked on. The big man swung over the lions den again and growled fiercely!

The big man was putting on quite a show, and feeling good until he slipped from the vine and fell almost two stories down into the lions den!

The lion walked over slowly, and the big man trying not to blow his cover tried to catch his breath and crawl to a safe place slowly. The lion stalked him. He caught the big man at the wall. The children had mixed emotions, some wanted the gorilla to escape, and others wanted to see the lion eat him, and a few thought the gorilla could take the lion, so they urged them to fight.

The big man kept his cool, while the lion crouched playfully in front of him, just behind some tall grass. Then in an instant the lion leapt over the grass and stretched outright to his limit, placing both front paws over the big man's shoulders! The big man squealed like a little girl with no nerve, and said, "Please don't eat me!"

The lion leaned in close with his nose just under the gorilla's chin and growled mightily one last time.The lion then put his mouth next to the gorilla's cheek and softly whispered in the big mans ear, "Calm down big fella, what're you trying to do, get us both fired!?"

The moral of this story is not everything is as it appears to be.

Someone may tell you that they love you, and have your best of interest in mind, when they are really trying to bring you down, or do what's best for them. However, I know of One that will never let you down and never forsake you. God knows what's best for you, and always has in store for you what is best for you... Jeremiah 29:11

Listen for Him, trust in Him, and go with Him, and you will never be misled.

Peace, Blessings, and Joy... the real PB&J!

The Meltdown and the Wreck

The Meltdown...The last couple of days were challenging. The imperfect one had an appointment with the heavy bag, and again didn't wear gloves, or tape his knuckles. So, now they are oozing and bleeding through the scabs. Nothing major, and not like I haven't bloodied them before. They should callouse again and get thicker. After the heavy bag therapy, I took a journey out and drove the Yota about 20 miles from home. I parked and as I had mentioned before and was just about to dose off. Then I heard some noise behind my truck. I got out to investigate, and to my dismay my right rear tire was flat. To complicate matters I did not have the key for the lock on my spare tire! The lock was super rusty, and it was 1am. So what to do? I tip toed my truck back to town, crawling in low four, and just two and a half hours later... voila... I was at Wal Mart, where I would sleep until 6 am that morning.

The Wreck...Sunshine primarily drives the car, and I drive the truck. Well the car that Sunshine drives is now out of commission as well! She was rear ended yesterday, and called me at work and told me that she was in the car and unable to get out. I went after her in the old peeling booger, our faded and peeling sea foam green Ford 150 company truck. The truck looks like it has leprosy! I drove to the scene of her accident, and saw a female police officer, a lady in a brown pant suit, and Sunshine standing along the guard rail. I drove down the ramp, and circled back and went back up the on ramp going south to go check on Sunny D. Times have been tough for Sunny D, and the imperfect one, but you know even if times are tough you have to be there. My hands are calloused, and maybe even my heart has grown slighty calloused, but you just have to do what's right. I drove past the fire crew, and the DMV workers that all looked at me like what is this idiota doing!? I got out motioned to them that I was with Sunshine, and they just gave a nod and kept an eye on traffic. As I approached the three ladies the officer said, "You must be the imperfect one?" I said yes ma'am, but no autographs at this time please. She smiled and told me that the other lady was at fault, and that her insurance would take care of everything, and asked me what I thought about driving the car home. The lady saw me coming and looked at me like oh Lord, here comes one angry brotha!!! We will call the lady Ms. M. I was walking toward Ms. M, and Sunny D, to check on them when before I could say how is everyone doing...Ms. M said, "I'm so sorry! I am really sorry!" I then asked them if they were both OK. They said shakey but OK. both of them wanted to cry again, and from the looks of it, they had both done a little crying before I got there. I told Ms. M that I was just glad that no one was seriously injured, and that there was no one fatally injured. I could live with having to get a car fixed or a new car, but death would have been no bueno! Ms. M was very nice, and like Sunshine very rattled. They were both shaking. The officer was very nice as well. Stereotyping would not have allowed me to see a little woman, like her being a police officer though. I guess dynamite comes in small packages for a reason! She could probably whip a whole club full of rough heads by herself, but looked like she belonged in a much more delicate environment. Again just a discription, so again please do not label me as being stereotypical. I don't look the part of a Southern Gospel Marketer either. I kill the stereotype! LOL I was hoping not to look the part of a rough head, and the officer was super nice to us all, but she took a couple of good looks at my scabbed knuckles. Although the officer took a look at my hands she never said anything. Everyone has looked at my hands for the past couple of days. I have told my kids that I just didn't realize that I was getting blistered that bad. My youngest son said, "Those are blisters, they look raw!?" My middle son said, "Yeah they look bad!" I was waiting for the officer to ask me something similar, like what happened to your hands? We gathered the goods from the car, and I had Kywy's car seat, the DVD player, and a host of other little items in my hands and the officer handed me the business card for the wrecker service to get one more good look at my hands. Just doing her job I guess. I am certain that she new that it was not from beating Sunshine. The old burger clamps are pretty scabby, it would have left some nasty scars or bruises on whatever or whomever I had hit. Therefore, police woman knew that Sunny D wasn't being abused. The officer said, "Oh I'm sorry I guess I could've handed the card to her" (Sunshine). I told police woman that it was all good. I loaded all of our goods into the front seat of the slimmer truck, and we were on our way back to Scrubville. Money is already tight, and just got tighter! New tires for the truck, and down to one vehicle for sure now. So no free time or late night ventures for the imperfect one, no matter how upset or uptight he gets! This imperfect Christian is bound to boundaries that are obtainable by foot only now. My legs still hurt from forcing them to push a fast paced two miler for the first time in ages. It is a good hurt though!!!

The imperfect Christian Band!

I was the seven year old phenom that was in "Sly and The Family Stone." Sylvester "Sly" Stone kicked me out because they had to meet a quota! They hired a white drummer, and sang...Ooooh Sha, Sha,...Ieyeyeyeyeye am everyday people!!! and had a number one hit! Larry Graham went out on his own, and started Graham Central Station. Sly got into trouble, and went to prison. I the imperfect Christian joined the band, HAIT W pronounced Hate W which means, "Hair Am I To Worship." See the picture below featuring "Myny Koop."



We had a radio release called, "Fro The Love of God!" I was told later if I had fired my son and hired a white drummer we would have had a number one hit!

Teenagers

I love teenagers. Teenagers give me a reason to smile and not feel so bad about messing up. Sure I was a teenager myself not so long ago, OK maybe it has been a good bit ago, but nevertheless I was once a teen myself. I am no longer a teen in age, nor in body. It takes me a little longer to heal, but in mind I can run with the best of them, and do not do so bad in the body department either. The one thing that I have learned since my teen days have passed, however, is to never give away my game plan, and never celebrate too early. You know what I am saying right? You play one of your kids, or a nephew/niece, and they have you down 8 to 1 in a back yard pick up game to 11. They talk trash and say there is no way you can come back and you go on a 9 - 0 run! They get frustrated and try the hard foul, and you score anyway, and they come up with collegiate rules, and say it was on the floor! You say something like we're not in school anymore, this is the NBA and we would use the continuation, but it was in the act of shooting, and school is no longer in session. Just to be a good sport you grant them their wish and play one more possession, where you hit a 26 footer to make it clear there was no foul, no traveling, and no violations whatsoever, and you walk away the victor by a score of 11 - 8!

How's this one for you:

Teenager says:
I have the munchies, and I would love something sweet to eat.

Adult says nothing and makes his/her way to the kitchen.

Teenager says:
Hey! what are you doing?

You the adult say:
Gettng the last ice-cream sandwich from the cooler.

Having a teenager around is not so bad. You pray a little harder. You pray when they go out with friends, when they take the car out alone for the first time, but you realize that you can't take care of everything all the time. You are not omniscient, ominpotent, nor are you omnipresent, although with our kids we would like to be sometimes. I emphatically say, "sometimes!"

So, God I am praying now in thanksgiving for teenagers, and praying that you keep them safe when their parents realize that they have no choice but to put them in your hands. I also thank You for blessing me with that quick first step! If we would have had to race a mile for that ice-cream, I would have been out of breath, thirsty, lost the ice-cream, and the last drink of lemonade too!