A Million Ways, But A Trick Ain't One...

OK the imperfect one had a very adventurous weekend. He got to dance with the devil in the pale moon lite, and spend most of the night out. He was in a borrowed vehicle so he did not drive much just hung out on the Parkway. It was a very lonely night, it was one of the most difficult he has had to deal with. The moon was at three quarters, and the imperfect one was not in the best of spirit. Friday night was one of the worst nights he's had in a long time. He went home Saturday morning, and spent all day wallowing in self pity. Definitely not worth it. After two days of stupidity, and a day of horrible sickness, he determined that it was time to put the fatuity in full repose! Yes imperfect brothers and sisters, it is time to get the poison out of the blood stream.

Well Forrest Gump was a classic movie, and had some great, and unforgettable line in it as well.
Who doesn't know what you're saying when you say, "Run Forrest RUN!"? Who hasn't said to a fool heading in the wrong direction, "Run Forrest RUN!"?

Well good friends the imperfect one has one for you... Life is like a canned jar of Habaneros, you never know which one will burn you most!

You can do a million different things schrimotions, you can grille them, boil 'em, fry 'em, sulk in 'em... all those little emotions!

Well Forrest we knew it was real when you said, "I do love you Jenna," pronounce slowly and with a long "A." We knew it, but it was just to bad that Jenny didn't know it until was a little too late. Forrest spent his whole life waiting and Jenny was a wildflower that just didn't grow in the right gound. In fact she allowed her blossom to be exposed in full but let her blossom get wind blown and destroyed, poor Jenny? Poor Forrest? How many times have we known that there was a love their, a true love and we just ignore it? How many times can we reject the love of God and have Him take us back? Well I know that God is a God of second chances, a reconciling God, and a God that will never leave us nor forsake us no matter how much doltishness we manifest over the years.

Well Bubba, and Forrest here's to you... a team, one that only needed a verbal agreement, not lawyers. Forrest, Jenny here's to you for not needing a law enforcement officer for a second degree trespass, just a sweet goodbye when you realize in the death of it that you wish that you'd said stay. But even as hard as it was for Forrest to be turned away by Jenny he was there. No matter how many times you are turned away imperfect brothers and sisters, no matter how many times you turn from God, He is always there. I just pray that we do not wait until our death beds to see His love. He did love you Jenny, and the imperfect one does love You Jesus.

I Can't Breathe!

I have heard two people within the last month say, "I can't breathe!" I said it back in January when I had pneumonia. It's like drowning, you want to get to the surface, but the surface seems so far above you. You want to get to the surface, but there is a tremendous weight that is holding you down. Your chest feels heavy, your extremities are weak, you just feel like giving up! The struggle is too great, so what do you do?

Yes we all need our "own" time from time to time. No one likes to be smothered. There are times when I am grateful to have a good looking woman trail me, or have my kids on my heels, and at others, I just need to chill. Let that Ox have a few days off, give him some meadow to roam in as long as he's roaming alone. He can't have calves if you don't make him mad enough to go through the fence, or if you don't open the gate and push him out, give him some room. And again on the other hand, sometimes he needs to be shadowed, makes him feel important. Mama is the same way fellas! When the yoke is on it should be light, not tight! Then the burden will be easy when you work together in the Lord!

Ready for the soap opera? How many husbands put their wives out of their home, and leave them hanging? For those women, I have a little Madea anx built up in me! If you helped turn that house into a home, then you should be entitled to your share. If you deserve to be put out, then he should at least give you ample time, and help you even if you are totally wrong! To each their own, but somethings just do not make sense! People should be more civil.

I have had more friends divorce this year, or speak of divorce, than I have heard of through my entire years as an adult! Why all of a sudden this surge in die-vision? Well it's not all of a sudden, it's just that I am noticing it now, and more people viewed me as good imperfect Christian husband. My wife is saying wow, if you only knew! Well the lack of vision, the lack of appointment, and focus as one have all gone away! If you are married you cannot look at your future, and future agendas with just your eyes, and one set of eyes in mind! You cannot look through the one set of physical eyes, but instead you must look through the spiritual set that is now a trifocaled univision! WHAT? Yes a trifocaled univision...Three sets acting as one! Each spouse must look at the greater vision that God has given them. That vision must connect with your partners vision, to ultimately bring forth the ultimate vision, and that is how to please God as a UNION! You see this Union is not just between you and spouse! You put two pieces of toast together and hold one piece up, what does the other piece do? It falls to the floor or the plate. If you put some adhesive (smooth jelly, or some spicy mustard depending on the sandwich LOL) on them what happens!? They stay together. You are one slice, and he is home slice! God is the adhesive in case some of my imperfect Brothers and Sisters are slower than I am. This is why the Word says to be "equally yoked." You can't go one way, and have your partner going another. When we do this good people we drag or get dragged! So what is your vision?

And it shall come to pass in the last days, God declares, that I will pour out of My Spirit upon all mankind, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy [telling forth the divine counsels] and your young men shall see visions (divinely granted appearances), and your old men shall dream [divinely suggested] dreams.
Yes, and on My menservants also and on My maidservants in those days I will pour out of My Spirit, and they shall prophesy [telling forth the divine counsels and]predicting future events pertaining especially to God's kingdom]. (Acts 2:16-18 Amplified Version)

God declares that He will pour our His Spirit first of all, so whom is it that we should be waiting for? Our spouse? No, no! You first lady of the house are a prophetess! You young man of the house shall be a visionary, and you aged and experienced shall dream, and see the next generation do greater things, you are the pathfinders, and the trailblazers, the pioneers! Wow, that almost sounded like an ad for a used car lot! At any rate, I ask as the imperfect Christian, why is it that you imperfect brothers and sisters are not moving? You are not moving for fear of failing! You have heard it a million times...you only fail, when you fail to try! But we (conviction poured on the imperfect one first) are afraid of what someone might say, we are afraid of the spouse being displeased, we are afraid of what society will do with us! If you have to separate then do so! How many people have or could do this:

Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. (1Corinthians 7:10 & 11 NKJV) OK is this the chauvinist God again, or does this apply to men as well? Well in ancient customs the man had to put his wife away, and the woman was not to leave. But again I use an old cliche` "Absence or Distance makes the heart grow fonder..."

Can we seek the civility in Christ and be reconciled to one another just as He reconciled us to God the Father? He redeemed us, but for what? So, we could slap Him in the face and say thanks but no thanks! I don't know what weight you are dealing with, I don't know what sea it is that you are drowning in, but I know the Lifeguard that can save you.

Oh and try some PB&J for that toast up there! Peace, Blessings, and Joy my imperfect brothers and sisters!

Independence?

Well good people the imperfect one here to speak on Independence! I said that I would with my total being celebrate our independence as a nation truly when America had a person of African descendants as our Commander and Chief. Well on November 4th of 2008 I celebrated independence for all of my ancestry. The Scotsman, the German, the Portuguese, and the Blackfoot and Cherokee celebrated a true melting pot society when President Obama was sworn in! I continued the celebrating on into January and had folks celebrating with me on the 20th of January in 2009!

July 4th of 2009 has passed and I am still celebrating. My taxes have decreased personally, gas prices have lowered, and even most grocery prices seem better. We still have greater freedoms than most countries that I know of. We have a rental truck that everyone seems to enjoy, I got my Tacoma home, and now the Impala is in the shop of our choice! We are free to enjoy insurance that helps get you moving again. We are free to celebrate spending time with family and having prayer with friends and family. We are free to speak our minds and help others. I wish to exercise my freedom tonight! I do not want any father that tries and truly cares for his kids to go through what it is that I have gone through, or will have to go through for a few more years to follow.

I am a man trying to raise his children to be integritous. My endeavor is to raise good imperfect Christians that can think for themselves and celebrate their imperfections independently. I have attempted to raise all of my children to seek after God, and mature into adults that will be people after His own heart! This weekend has been a struggle, but praise God aluta continua... the struggle continues! Some cannot endure the struggle, and to this point I have and I shall!!! Thank you Sister Ne, for making me study my Latin with more fervency.

In this land of Independence, I have had to seek justice in the fine judicial system. I have a court order for partial joint custody of my youngest son. This order says that neither party cannot badmouth one or the other. It doesn't say that I am disallowed to tell the truth. It was amended in 2004, just before we bought our house, because I spanked him. I went from every other week to every second and fourth weekend with visitation. I was disallowed to spank him for lying and being lazy enough to soil his underwear, but his mother's new husband could spank him for critiquing his sister's artwork and saying that it wasn't good. Spanked by a man that teaches him that being smug is a cool thing! During that time period she moved to Illinois and took my youngest over 900 miles away from me. This is the same son that she wanted to keep me from since the very beginning. His mother wanted to keep me from him until that is she had no place to keep him herself. Because we both worked a night shift and her father was retiring and would not allow our son in his house during the day or the night his mother threatened me with a lawsuit. She said that if I didn't provide a sitter she would get an attorney and go to court. I think she was a little bit shocked when I didn't seek a sitter, but instead kept him myself during the daytime hours! I had family keep him during the night while we worked. No help from her, nothing just my watching him from 8am to 4:30pm so she could sleep. The she would then bring him back to me around 9:30pm and I would take him to my mothers house. He would cry at the door when I would leave because he wanted me to stay and play with him more. My mother watched him for the most part and my uncle's wife kept him for awhile as well. But on his mothers side the same pattern continued, and none of her family stepped up. That was then and this is now, but the drama continues.

We went to my Uncle Juan's house yesterday for the traditional BBQ. The kids ate, they swam, they rode dirtbikes and fourwheelers, and everyone was having a great time. The adults sat and held the usual comedic conversations, and laughed hardily. The kids ran like wildfire, and enjoyed one another. No arguments, no malicious acts from jealous siblings, just a great time. We all left from L.A. (Lower Altapass) and headed into metropolis of Scrubville for fireworks. We parked the trucks behind the hospital and watched the red, white, and boom from atop the hospital drive. We had a few brownies left and of course everyone wanted at the very least one more bite, so onto phase 2 of the brownie eating. The fireworks show overall not to shabby, but the grand finale a bit of a let down. Each vehicle gathered their own kids and dispersed.

The imperfect one got home and started to settle in when his phone buzzed. I was headed to the restroom and did not recognize the number so I waited for a voicemail. I walked back into the room, and listened to the voicemail. It was my youngest son's, mother's husband (mouthful huh)? He had left a message telling me that my son had texted them and notified them that he was unable to breathe. Rather than call his trac fone back to listen for signs of his not being able to breathe they texted. His mother's husband instructed me to go immediately to the emergency room! He said that AJ could get breathing treatments there, and they could administer meds to him for allergies as well. He finished his instructional message with a threatening I will be calling back to check on him. I did what I normally do, and I ignored his ignorance like a Rottweiler ignores a toothless Chihuahua. I awaited his call, and never heard from him. Instead I received a call from the Mitchell County Dispatch.

Dispatch called and at first did not identify themselves. The dispatcher said, who am I speaking with. I said you called me who do you want to speak with? He said is this the imperfect Christian? I said it is, who am I speaking with please. At that point he told me his name and said I am Deputy Dawg with the Mitchell County Dispatch, I am calling because your son's mother called and wanted to know how he was, and said that he had texted her and told her that he couldn't breathe. I told him that AJ was fine, and that I was responsible enough to get him medical attention if he needed it. I know how to dial 911, and that I was merely minutes away from Scrubville hospital, or I knew my way to Memorial Mercenary Hospital if he needed serious care. He said may I verify your address so I can formally file the complaint, I gave it to him and asked if he needed me to call the phone number back to him as well. He said no sir you have a goodnight. I said thank you, and you as well, but now that you have called please file in your complaint that my phone works that I know the number for 911, and that I am a grown man able to communicate, therefore capable of being responsible enough to get my son medical attention if he needs it, and that his mother can take care of things with him on her time.

The drama didn't stop there. A Deputy Sheriff named McClinton in all black attire came by and asked me which house was 43. I told him that my house was. Officer McClinton said that he was on a DSS call and needed to check on the minor. I called for AJ, and he got his shoes, and came to the door. I had locked myself out and couldn't get in so I called through the kitchen window. Officer McClinton was a blessing however, he did not lead AJ with a question, but simply just asked him if he was OK. AJ said, "I am good." Officer McClinton said you feeling OK then, and AJ said, "Yes sir." Officer McClinton said that's all I came for. Officer McClinton said, "Ok hoss you have a goodnight, and wished me a goodnight as well. He said if we can do anything for you just call. I said yeah you can have her handle things on her end and let me live my life and take care of things on mine. He looked a little upset with my saying that and stepped back toward me. I told him that I wasn't upset with him, but I was not pleased with the non-sense by any means, I knew that he was just doing his job. Officer McClinton then said, "I only ask one question of each parent, put yourself in their shoes, if it was you wouldn't you want to know?" Quite naturally my answer was, "Of course!" I would want to know for sure but would be more mature and rational with obtaining my information, but now you put my shoes on for a few good people. Would you want your other children freaked out every other day with an officer of the law showing up at your doorstep just because some crack pot accused you of being a bad parent when time and time again you prove that you are not!? Shoe on the other foot would you want your child with the other parent to be scared or brainwashed into believing that he was leaving his real family to go live with people that wanted nothing but bad for him, and were trying to kill him and couldn't take care of him? Would you appreciate a woman that would entice a DSS worker to believe that because your spouse was Caucasian that she didn't care for your Afro (Black) children!? Well that was part of the questioning years ago that might oldest son endured from a DSS worker. DSS workers that admitted to spanking their own children, and doing the exact same thing that I had done, but did not lose time with their children. The same DSS worker was caught in a lie in court and not punished in the least way. Those images have been burned, and have become permanent fixtures in my mind ever since the events took place. Eventually my son will see the truths in this matter but until then I am asking when Lord!?

We have been down this road before, and may have to endure it again, but my endeavor is to see that we not only survive it, but help other true, caring fathers so that this does not happen to them. Better yet so that no child is left in the dark or led into confusion.

Peace, Blessings, and Joy in Christ...the real PB&J

The Meltdown and the Wreck

The Meltdown...The last couple of days were challenging. The imperfect one had an appointment with the heavy bag, and again didn't wear gloves, or tape his knuckles. So, now they are oozing and bleeding through the scabs. Nothing major, and not like I haven't bloodied them before. They should callouse again and get thicker. After the heavy bag therapy, I took a journey out and drove the Yota about 20 miles from home. I parked and as I had mentioned before and was just about to dose off. Then I heard some noise behind my truck. I got out to investigate, and to my dismay my right rear tire was flat. To complicate matters I did not have the key for the lock on my spare tire! The lock was super rusty, and it was 1am. So what to do? I tip toed my truck back to town, crawling in low four, and just two and a half hours later... voila... I was at Wal Mart, where I would sleep until 6 am that morning.

The Wreck...Sunshine primarily drives the car, and I drive the truck. Well the car that Sunshine drives is now out of commission as well! She was rear ended yesterday, and called me at work and told me that she was in the car and unable to get out. I went after her in the old peeling booger, our faded and peeling sea foam green Ford 150 company truck. The truck looks like it has leprosy! I drove to the scene of her accident, and saw a female police officer, a lady in a brown pant suit, and Sunshine standing along the guard rail. I drove down the ramp, and circled back and went back up the on ramp going south to go check on Sunny D. Times have been tough for Sunny D, and the imperfect one, but you know even if times are tough you have to be there. My hands are calloused, and maybe even my heart has grown slighty calloused, but you just have to do what's right. I drove past the fire crew, and the DMV workers that all looked at me like what is this idiota doing!? I got out motioned to them that I was with Sunshine, and they just gave a nod and kept an eye on traffic. As I approached the three ladies the officer said, "You must be the imperfect one?" I said yes ma'am, but no autographs at this time please. She smiled and told me that the other lady was at fault, and that her insurance would take care of everything, and asked me what I thought about driving the car home. The lady saw me coming and looked at me like oh Lord, here comes one angry brotha!!! We will call the lady Ms. M. I was walking toward Ms. M, and Sunny D, to check on them when before I could say how is everyone doing...Ms. M said, "I'm so sorry! I am really sorry!" I then asked them if they were both OK. They said shakey but OK. both of them wanted to cry again, and from the looks of it, they had both done a little crying before I got there. I told Ms. M that I was just glad that no one was seriously injured, and that there was no one fatally injured. I could live with having to get a car fixed or a new car, but death would have been no bueno! Ms. M was very nice, and like Sunshine very rattled. They were both shaking. The officer was very nice as well. Stereotyping would not have allowed me to see a little woman, like her being a police officer though. I guess dynamite comes in small packages for a reason! She could probably whip a whole club full of rough heads by herself, but looked like she belonged in a much more delicate environment. Again just a discription, so again please do not label me as being stereotypical. I don't look the part of a Southern Gospel Marketer either. I kill the stereotype! LOL I was hoping not to look the part of a rough head, and the officer was super nice to us all, but she took a couple of good looks at my scabbed knuckles. Although the officer took a look at my hands she never said anything. Everyone has looked at my hands for the past couple of days. I have told my kids that I just didn't realize that I was getting blistered that bad. My youngest son said, "Those are blisters, they look raw!?" My middle son said, "Yeah they look bad!" I was waiting for the officer to ask me something similar, like what happened to your hands? We gathered the goods from the car, and I had Kywy's car seat, the DVD player, and a host of other little items in my hands and the officer handed me the business card for the wrecker service to get one more good look at my hands. Just doing her job I guess. I am certain that she new that it was not from beating Sunshine. The old burger clamps are pretty scabby, it would have left some nasty scars or bruises on whatever or whomever I had hit. Therefore, police woman knew that Sunny D wasn't being abused. The officer said, "Oh I'm sorry I guess I could've handed the card to her" (Sunshine). I told police woman that it was all good. I loaded all of our goods into the front seat of the slimmer truck, and we were on our way back to Scrubville. Money is already tight, and just got tighter! New tires for the truck, and down to one vehicle for sure now. So no free time or late night ventures for the imperfect one, no matter how upset or uptight he gets! This imperfect Christian is bound to boundaries that are obtainable by foot only now. My legs still hurt from forcing them to push a fast paced two miler for the first time in ages. It is a good hurt though!!!

The imperfect Christian Band!

I was the seven year old phenom that was in "Sly and The Family Stone." Sylvester "Sly" Stone kicked me out because they had to meet a quota! They hired a white drummer, and sang...Ooooh Sha, Sha,...Ieyeyeyeyeye am everyday people!!! and had a number one hit! Larry Graham went out on his own, and started Graham Central Station. Sly got into trouble, and went to prison. I the imperfect Christian joined the band, HAIT W pronounced Hate W which means, "Hair Am I To Worship." See the picture below featuring "Myny Koop."



We had a radio release called, "Fro The Love of God!" I was told later if I had fired my son and hired a white drummer we would have had a number one hit!

Therapy

Some people go to therapist to sort out their problems. Some have good pastors and good friends that will listen and give sound advice. Well good people I used to talk to Nikki. Nikki would speak to me, and ask me to touch her and reach deep to feel myself in her. Each tone would ring out, and I would feel as though with her potential I had let her down. Nikki is my escape. She is beautiful, natural, and created wonderfully! She was born in Scottsdale and I met her in 1995. She came to my house, and I knew instantly that I was not good enough for her. How could a man with $25 fingers deserve a $2500 guitar? Yes Nikki is my Custom Shop '54 reissue Fender Stratocaster. I still do not do her justice, but look to get more time in with her, so that she can teach me to love again, and to learn to express myself when nobody cares, and when nobody else is listening. BB had Lucille, Stevie had Lenny, and if I can ever perform well enough to turn loose in public, you good people can say that the imperfect Christian had Nikki! Just another drop in the bucket from your imperfect Brother.

Peace, Blessings, and Joy... The real PB&J