Exodus 20:16

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2014/12/12/what-was-fake-on-the-internet-this-week-kitten-killing-christmas-trees-and-malia-obamas-pregnancy/

http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/maliaobamapregnant.asp

Little, Malia Obama is pregnant y'all, and it has to be true because Fox News or someone that really loves our first family and posing as Fox News said it. With that news, I have some news of my own.

Ok, the imperfect Christian has a confession to make:

I, the imperfect Christian, am related to the first family. Yes, I said it. The imperfect Christian is a family member to the first family. The imperfect one did not desire the publicity, but he is a relative. The imperfect Christian's last name is dutch/German, but Pres. Van Buren makes that okay, because there is not one Muslim in all of Germany, or Holland, and if there were, they would not be so bold as to move to the United States of America and run for President. Well with the new immigration law (that for the record the imperfect Christian does not agree with) maybe they might consider the move now. Even consider moving and inviting die hard conservative Dick Cheney's daughter to their same sex partnership ceremony? Who knows?

To switch gears the imperfect one has been attending Christian churches for years now, but all the while no one has once thought of making him show his birth certificate to run for a church office, or pronounce 22 million and a half times that he is indeed, a Christian. Pardon, an imperfect Christian.

While I am making such a bold move and confessing openly, I would also like to confess the inspiring of Ronald Reagan. I told Ronnie that I once lied about not knowing what or where the putrid smell in my best friends desk was coming from. When in fact I had left hard boiled eggs in his desk, that stayed there for approximately 2 weeks. Needless to say they became a bit righteous. Oh the kicker to this story, is that the eggs were left behind while my friend was out on medical leave, and during Easter break. What a pal huh? I was blessed, and honored to share this story with my old cowboy pal, Mr. Ronald Reagan. Ronnie was so inspired by my getting away with the Great Easter Egg Fiasco, that he told the world that he was unaware of the Iran-Contra scandal. That he had no idea arms were being traded (sold) for hostages.

http://www.brown.edu/Research/Understanding_the_Iran_Contra_Affair/timeline-hearings.php

I would also like to confess being the first person to use the phrase, "Stay thirsty my friends!" I first said this to the Bush twins in 2001. Hey, they told me that they were 21! I don't drink XX (Dos Equis), but if I did... it wouldn't be with these two. No matter how pretty they are!

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/washington/2001-05-31-bushdaughters.htm

And the moral of today's story is:

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour. Exodus 20:16 (KJV)
Aloe Green could you take us out please? "I paid for every heart that I ever stole, I believed every lie that I ever told...

The lyrics are inverted but you feel me right?